Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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