I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
