The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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