Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
