i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
