ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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