so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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