she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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