I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
