At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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