Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Can I color on your dick again?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
