and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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