I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
