u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
