his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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