we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
