it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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