You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
