just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
