omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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