their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
