Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
