She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
