What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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