The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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