Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
