Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
