Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
