In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
