Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
