just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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