Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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