I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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