matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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