Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
