just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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