I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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