Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
