We're facebook friends in real life
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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