She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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