Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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