adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
