What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
