he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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