how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
