...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
