Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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