I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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