he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
