He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
