I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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