Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
