just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
