Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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