my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize
