I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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